100 X

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.

Matthew 19:29 NIV

Recently I had a friend ask me why I never adopted any kids.  I don't talk much about our decision not to adopt, mostly because I fear people won't understand.  I mean...it's what you do when you can't have kids, right? Only it wasn't just about us.

Of course we thought about it, but ultimately it wasn't what God had planned.  This is the part I fear sounds a little odd.  Many years ago...as I dreamed of being offered a child, I distinctly heard the Spirit in me say, "give it to Sara (name changed)".  What?!  She too was struggling with infertility.  A few short weeks later, I did, indeed, receive a call about a baby needing adopted.  Was I interested?  Oh, the agony of that moment!  How I went over and over this with God, "what if this is my only shot?".  And yet, I submitted and made the offer to my friend. 

The road between there and here, was a long one, with many ups and downs.  However, I am now fully content.  I trust in God's plan for my life, because it really isn't my life any way.  "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20) 

Please don't feel bad for us, because God is faithful and has His own way of gathering a family.  Almost 22 years ago I left my home and family to come to a distant land (hey from Oregon to Indiana seemed like it).  And then I gave up having my own children.   But, I am living the reality of Matthew 19:29.  I met my husband here, I was given great in-laws, I have friends who have become family, my brother now lives here, we support children through Compassion International, and I am blessed with so many kids in my life to love on and be loved by.  I am truly blessed and  God is faithful to His Word.  I have no doubt I will reach 100 X and then... I will be welcomed home.