Solitude

 

Though I have not birthed any children from my womb, I have many children that I hold dear in my heart.  One of them, my sweet Annabelle, came to visit me recently while I was camping.

While my husband was busy working on some property we own, I was enjoying some much needed time alone.  Upon arriving to our camper and finding me alone, Annabelle declared, "Aren't you bored?". I think it only appropriate that I mention the facts.  She is 18 years old, from a large family and very busy with friends, work and college.

Albert Einstein put it well when he said, "I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity".  I didn't always appreciate or enjoy solitude.  In my youth the idea of doing anything by myself, even shopping, seemed depressing. Time has changed this; has changed me.  But don't get me wrong, I still enjoy a good party and require "girl time" with my friends.

Sometimes it is simply a matter of needing to recharge, but my strongest desire for solitude comes from a calling of God, if I might call it that.   It is He who keeps calling me deeper.  A time to study and meditate on truth and what really matters.  A limiting of distractions and false ideas of happiness.  Time to worship and pray.  A contentment and desire to be in His presence and nothing more.

It is in these times of solitude that I find what I need to be of good to others, as Thomas Merton once said, "It is in deep solitude that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brothers. The more solitary I am the more affection I have for them…. Solitude and silence teach me to love my brothers for what they are, not for what they say".