JTH - Week 3



"I work from the vantage point of helping clients re-frame disease to be an ally, not an enemy. When that happens, we take responsibility for our life and move out of being the victim of our circumstances such as illness.  Here is the bottom, bottom line. Your life is trying to wake you up to something through illness.  It just is. So go there. I promise there is no downside to taking that positioning in life. Only wisdom.  That place of trust that life is waking me up to something. You are doing it though illness. Once you decide this path, things like blaming others, being a victim or arguing against what is present are quickly lost as coping options. Your biggest coping options become love and acceptance. How will I love and accept this event? And this is difficult because denial, victim and blame are socially accepted tools in the healing world, easier to take but ultimately don’t work."  Jessica Flanigan, Clinical Nutritionist

 I found the above quote while researching AIP recipes this week.  It pretty much sums up my next step in this journey.  I initially thought I would go on the diet for a month, get better, and then be on my merry way.  Yeah, right! 

I have been through all the coping options she mentioned.  Denial?  Yep, been there.  Victim?  Woe is me!  Blame?  You betcha.  Even with this diet, I wanted a quick fix, but that doesn't look to be the case.  They say 1 month of healing for every year you have been sick, and I have been sick for over 20 years!  So, I need to move on to viewing my illness as my ally and not my enemy.

My nature leans toward destinations.  Michael often has to slow me down when we are walking.  I go from point A to point B the quickest way possible.  But this...this condition, isn't racing toward a destination and so I need to shift my focus to the journey. 

I don't know exactly how this will play out.  I have no doubt there will be moments of unrest and temptation ahead, but for now I am resting in the joy of obedience. 

I am learning that my life is not my own.  I am not in control.  I need to trust God.  And I must reorder my life.  I can no longer ignore it, forging ahead, hoping it will behave. 

It is giving me a chance to put into practice scriptures, such as Rejoice in the Lord always and Give thanks in all things.

The truth is, I am at a crossroads.  Will I go back to my old path, or will I stop and walk in the good way?  God what are you waking me up to? 

JTH - Week 2

Two weeks in and I am starting to see the benefits.  My husband has noticed it in the silence.  He no longer hears the constant rumble day and night.  It's not over yet, but I just may be onto something.

I have decided to go ahead and take some meds to kick those buggers out quicker and get on with the healing.  Praying that goes well.

My hope is still that after healing, I will be able to get many of the foods back.  However, this past week I have grown more comfortable with life as it is and that if need be, I can live like this.  The desire for these foods is still there, but instead of looking at it as foods that have been taken away, I am looking at it as choosing foods that will bring healing.  I can have what I want and be miserable or have what I need and feel good.  It is a choice and a battle of the mind.

I am such a visual learner that God, in His mercy, gives me these earthly examples to teach me His heavenly principles.  For I am seeing such a connection to my spiritual life in all of this; the battle in my mind over what I want, versus what I need; the daily need to depend on the LORD to overcome my sinful nature and temptation; the realization that my character means more to God than my earthly healing or comfort (Romans 5:1-5); that the fruit I am to bear is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control and these are not dependent on my doing or being physically well. (Galatians 5:22-23)

Might God still give me a miracle healing?  Maybe, but if it comes, it will be because of God's wisdom and not my manipulation.  I have spent years thinking that if I learned enough lessons, God would heal my womb, like He was just waiting for me to "get it" and then would grant my request.  I realize now that God doesn't work that way and am even thankful that I don't always get what I bargain for.  I am learning to be content and trust in His wisdom, with eternity in view; to be clay in the potters hand and accept the vessel he has made me to be.  And if that means I am to be like Paul, with a thorn in my flesh all my days, then I will be in good company and endure by the grace of God and the strength of Christ in me. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Philippians 4:12-13 )

My hope...

⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things...¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me...¹⁸ For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. ¹⁹ Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. ²⁰ But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Philippians 3:7-8,12, 18-21.

The Journey To Healing

One week down...too many to go.

AIP is the latest acronym to go with my IBS and SIBO. 

What is AIP?  It stands for Auto Immune Protocol.  It is an elimination diet to aid in the healing of a leaky gut and various autoimmune diseases.  Oh yeah, and I am leaving out the FODMAP's as well.

For me, this is like Custer's Last Stand.  This is it...it's either me or the gut gremlins. 

Do I sound as crazy as I feel?  It may be the lack of sugar to my brain.

So here I am, one week into a very restricted diet.  I am discovering some new vegetables I didn't know existed.  Some are rather good and some I still don't like.  Yuck!  I am down a pound!  Whoohoo!  I get tons of meat and all the water I can drink, but I am not going to sugar coat it (pun intended)...

I cried today.

The eating part is going better than expected, especially since Michael is participating with me (what a guy!).  I have a few cravings, but over all not bad.  However, I have not showed any miraculous recovery like I had hoped.  I am still the same.  I know, I know...it's only been a week and I didn't get this way overnight, but I was really hoping for a miracle turn around.  I need to know this is going to be worth it!

And so I cried in fear that this too would fail. 

By the grace of God, I undertook this for Lent as well as my health.  Otherwise, I may have quit today.  But, God is giving me the strength I need, because this battle is about more than just flesh and blood and nasty gut microbes. 

^{Ephesians 6:10} Finally, let the mighty strength of the Lord make you strong. ¹¹ Put on all the armor that God gives, so you can defend yourself against the devil’s tricks. ¹² We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world. ¹³ So put on all the armor that God gives. Then when that evil day comes, you will be able to defend yourself. And when the battle is over, you will still be standing firm.

¹⁴ Be ready! Let the truth be like a belt around your waist, and let God’s justice protect you like armor. ¹⁵ Your desire to tell the good news about peace should be like shoes on your feet. ¹⁶ Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Let God’s saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God’s message that comes from the Spirit.

¹⁸ Never stop praying, especially for others. Always pray by the power of the Spirit. Stay alert and keep praying for God’s people. ¹⁹ Pray that I will be given the message to speak and that I may fearlessly explain the mystery about the good news. ²⁰ I was sent to do this work, and that’s the reason I am enduring this trouble. So pray that I will be brave and will speak as I should.
CEV italics are my addition.