JTH - Week 2

Two weeks in and I am starting to see the benefits.  My husband has noticed it in the silence.  He no longer hears the constant rumble day and night.  It's not over yet, but I just may be onto something.

I have decided to go ahead and take some meds to kick those buggers out quicker and get on with the healing.  Praying that goes well.

My hope is still that after healing, I will be able to get many of the foods back.  However, this past week I have grown more comfortable with life as it is and that if need be, I can live like this.  The desire for these foods is still there, but instead of looking at it as foods that have been taken away, I am looking at it as choosing foods that will bring healing.  I can have what I want and be miserable or have what I need and feel good.  It is a choice and a battle of the mind.

I am such a visual learner that God, in His mercy, gives me these earthly examples to teach me His heavenly principles.  For I am seeing such a connection to my spiritual life in all of this; the battle in my mind over what I want, versus what I need; the daily need to depend on the LORD to overcome my sinful nature and temptation; the realization that my character means more to God than my earthly healing or comfort (Romans 5:1-5); that the fruit I am to bear is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control and these are not dependent on my doing or being physically well. (Galatians 5:22-23)

Might God still give me a miracle healing?  Maybe, but if it comes, it will be because of God's wisdom and not my manipulation.  I have spent years thinking that if I learned enough lessons, God would heal my womb, like He was just waiting for me to "get it" and then would grant my request.  I realize now that God doesn't work that way and am even thankful that I don't always get what I bargain for.  I am learning to be content and trust in His wisdom, with eternity in view; to be clay in the potters hand and accept the vessel he has made me to be.  And if that means I am to be like Paul, with a thorn in my flesh all my days, then I will be in good company and endure by the grace of God and the strength of Christ in me. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Philippians 4:12-13 )

My hope...

⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things...¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me...¹⁸ For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. ¹⁹ Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. ²⁰ But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Philippians 3:7-8,12, 18-21.

The Journey To Healing

One week down...too many to go.

AIP is the latest acronym to go with my IBS and SIBO. 

What is AIP?  It stands for Auto Immune Protocol.  It is an elimination diet to aid in the healing of a leaky gut and various autoimmune diseases.  Oh yeah, and I am leaving out the FODMAP's as well.

For me, this is like Custer's Last Stand.  This is it...it's either me or the gut gremlins. 

Do I sound as crazy as I feel?  It may be the lack of sugar to my brain.

So here I am, one week into a very restricted diet.  I am discovering some new vegetables I didn't know existed.  Some are rather good and some I still don't like.  Yuck!  I am down a pound!  Whoohoo!  I get tons of meat and all the water I can drink, but I am not going to sugar coat it (pun intended)...

I cried today.

The eating part is going better than expected, especially since Michael is participating with me (what a guy!).  I have a few cravings, but over all not bad.  However, I have not showed any miraculous recovery like I had hoped.  I am still the same.  I know, I know...it's only been a week and I didn't get this way overnight, but I was really hoping for a miracle turn around.  I need to know this is going to be worth it!

And so I cried in fear that this too would fail. 

By the grace of God, I undertook this for Lent as well as my health.  Otherwise, I may have quit today.  But, God is giving me the strength I need, because this battle is about more than just flesh and blood and nasty gut microbes. 

^{Ephesians 6:10} Finally, let the mighty strength of the Lord make you strong. ¹¹ Put on all the armor that God gives, so you can defend yourself against the devil’s tricks. ¹² We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world. ¹³ So put on all the armor that God gives. Then when that evil day comes, you will be able to defend yourself. And when the battle is over, you will still be standing firm.

¹⁴ Be ready! Let the truth be like a belt around your waist, and let God’s justice protect you like armor. ¹⁵ Your desire to tell the good news about peace should be like shoes on your feet. ¹⁶ Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Let God’s saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God’s message that comes from the Spirit.

¹⁸ Never stop praying, especially for others. Always pray by the power of the Spirit. Stay alert and keep praying for God’s people. ¹⁹ Pray that I will be given the message to speak and that I may fearlessly explain the mystery about the good news. ²⁰ I was sent to do this work, and that’s the reason I am enduring this trouble. So pray that I will be brave and will speak as I should.
CEV italics are my addition.

What Makes A Life Beautiful?

What makes a life beautiful?  Breath.

God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness...So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.  Genesis 1:26-27
Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.  Genesis 2:7

Every life has value and worth because we are made in the image of God and it was His breath that brought forth life. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14

The beauty of our lives are not based on the size of our clothes, bank account or house.  The beauty of our lives are not determined by whether our dreams come true and we end up with a dream job, husband, 2.5 kids, new automobile or get to travel the world.  Neither is the beauty of our life less if our health fails or we die young.

Jesus came to:

 bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:3

I delight greatly in the Lord;
    my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
    and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
    and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
For as the soil makes the sprout come up
    and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness
    and praise spring up before all nations. Isaiah 61:10-11

Look around at creation, even after the fall, it is beautiful! You are beautiful!  I am beautiful!  Life is beautiful, because God has breathed it.  And in Christ we have a hope and a future, peace and joy...no matter our circumstance.

Romans 15:13

Ash Wednesday

It is snowing...again. 

We got snow/freezing rain last week during our small group bible study.  When Michael and I went to leave, one of the guys from our group was scraping everyone's windows.  While we sat warming up inside the car, watching him scrape, I felt bad.  It was hard to accept such a favor.  However, feeling he wanted to do this for us, I began to feel some gratitude and goodwill toward him.  That was nice.

It wasn't until the next week, at our group meeting, when I jokingly suggested he would go warm up all our cars, that I found out he HATES the sound of scraping ice!  To him it is likes nails on a chalk board (I am dating myself here).  That means what he did for us the week before was a sacrifice, not just a nice gesture he wanted to do.  It was hard, but he did it anyway. This made me appreciate his act of service even more.

As I pondered this on the drive home, I was struck by the parallel to grace and Jesus.  For many of us, it is hard to accept such a favor as grace.  We are independent and prideful.  We want to earn our way.  Or we may feel that what Jesus did for us was nice, but we don't really understand the depth of His sacrifice.  After all, Jesus is God and He wanted to do it.  Right?  Then why in the garden, the night before he was crucified, was He grieved to the point of death and prayed three times that it be taken from Him?  After being beaten, He couldn't carry His own cross.  Yes, Jesus was God in the flesh but those nails still hurt and the crucifixion was torture.  The good news is that he did it anyway!  Jesus' willingness to be crucified for us, should cause great gratitude and affection toward Him.  "For this reason I say to you, her sins which were many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little." (Luke 7:47)

We are once again, at Ash Wednesday and the season of Lent.  The time for repentance and seeking God; acknowledging our mortality, sinfulness and need of a Savior, and looking forward to Easter Sunday and celebrating Jesus' death, burial and resurrection.  For "what a wretched man I am!  Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?  Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:24-25)

Last year was my first time fasting for Lent.  It was not a time of trying to earn God's favor, but rather came out of a desire to seek Him first and trust Him for all else.  And if you read my past posts on it, you know that it was not observed to perfection, but God honored my heart's desire and He was faithful. 

This year my fast is focusing on Isaiah 58 and Romans 12.  I will be fasting to offer my body as a living sacrifice and seeking how God wants to use the gifts He has given me to fulfill what Jesus started.  "And the book of the prophet Isaiah was handed to Him (Jesus).  And He opened the book and found the place where it was written, 'The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, because he has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free those who are oppressed, to proclaim the favorable year of the LORD.'  And He began to say to them, 'Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.'" (Luke 4:17-19,21)

Micah 6:8 says, "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God."

Though your fast may look different than mine, for we are one body with many parts, may we all be made a planting for the display of God's splendor!

 

Unanswered prayer: What if...?

"And a leper came to Jesus, beseeching Him and falling on his knees before Him, and saying, “If you are willing, You can make me clean.” Moved with compassion, Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed.”  Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cleansed." (Mark 1:40-42)

These are the words I read the other morning, that reminded me again of my unanswered prayers for healing.  I believe God can heal me, but apparently, unlike with the leper, He is not willing.  God's apparent unwillingness to heal either my womb or my gut used to unnerve me.  Unconsciously I began to believe that it must be because God doesn't love me as much as that other person, who just received their miracle.  Maybe, if I just learned enough lessons He would do it, like He was waiting for me to get it before He gave it.

Thinking that God doesn't love you or care about you that much is a dangerous place to stand.  I kept trying to earn it, but I could never do or be enough. 

Then God began to show me the truth of His love and grace.  He gave me a right view of myself (I deserve nothing good), as well as Himself (He who did not spare His own son, but gave Him for my redemption surely loves me).  And so, the other morning when I read Mark 1:40-42 and thought about my unanswered prayers, I was struck with a new thought.  What if my unanswered prayer was God's love for me?  Crazy?  Instead of it meaning that He loved me less, what if it meant He loved me more?  Could it be that he isn't willing, because if He did heal me I would lose out on the work He was doing in me through it?  What if a healed gut meant I could eat whatever I wanted and I would eat too much junk?  What if...?

I may never know the exact reasons.  But it made me think of Laura Story's song, Blessings.  And I have decided to trust in the One who knows the end from the beginning. 

It's All About Love

"Don't be like the people of this world, but let God change the way you think.  Then you will know how to do everything that is good and pleasing to Him."  Romans 12:2 CEV


I am currently reading the true story of Ian and Larissa Murphy.  They met in college, fell in love and were planning to marry, when Ian was in a horrific car crash.  That car accident and the resulting brain injury forever changed their lives.  Their story is about more than tragedy, it is about dealing with life in a world marked by suffering, yet compelled by love.  Larissa chose love over convenience.  Ian's best friend chose love over a more successful career.  This got me thinking...

Was she crazy for not moving on to someone she could have a "normal", easier life with?  Was his friend crazy for giving up a more successful career?  I guess that depends on what you think the meaning of life is.  Is it all about me?  Is it about what I can gain?  Or is it about people and love?

According to the Bible, it has always been about people and love:

It has been this way from the beginning.  God created the world and us, because of love.  God called a people to be His own, because of love.  God came in the flesh, because of love.  Jesus died a horrible death, because of love.  The Spirit was given to us, because of love. The disciples were beaten and martyred, because of love.  Jesus will come again to take us to the Father, because of love.  It is the greatest command and the second.  Love is the fulfillment of all the law and prophets. 

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  ⁸ Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 NIV
 
Love is powerful, because God IS love.

Love Well

There seems to be much confusion these days over God's will for our lives and how to "do" ministry.  That is, if one is even interested in the church anymore.  Two experiences recently have convinced me, more than ever, that it really isn't that complicated.  Jesus gave us the answer a long time ago.  Perhaps, we didn't like His answer and so we try to come up with alternative solutions.  So what is the answer?  Why nothing less than the greatest commandment and the second(Matthew 22:37-40).  That's right, the answer is to love well!

Sounds easy enough.  Humans are involved, however, so it is anything but!  Yes, it is simple, for if we love we will fulfill all the law.  But, it is often hard to love well through pain, grief and misunderstandings.  Love costs.  All that aside, I have once again been shown the fruit of love and I am challenged to continue to try and love well.

The first experience was about a week ago.  I was back in my home state visiting family.  My husband and I had gone to the new Cabelas with my parents and were waiting in line at the pizza restaurant next door, when a man came up behind us and said our names.  It took a few minutes, but we soon were giving hugs all around as we recognized one another.  It was a friend from high school youth group that we hadn't seen in 20 plus years!  As we talked, it appeared to be a God moment.  He had recently been telling the youth group that he now leads about how great our youth group had been and the difference it had made in his life.  He also told my parents (who had been sponsors) several times how happy he was to see them and how much they had meant to him.  I saw how important it had been to have people in his life who loved him.

The second experience was today, as I witnessed the family of an elderly woman, in our church, who just passed away.  The sorrow over her departure was great, but they did not grieve as those who have no hope.  They grieved because they loved her, for she was a Godly woman who loved them well. 

It is my prayer, though it may take years or even a life time, that my life will bring forth fruit because I chose to love well.  As a friend so wonderfully reminded us, it isn't about us.  It is always about Jesus!  I can't love well, but He can.  And so in faith, I lose my life in order to find it...the life well lived in love.