JTH - Falling Off The Wagon

Well, let me just start with this disclaimer...trying to stick to this diet while moving and building a house is not for the faint of heart!

During the past month, I have been faint of heart.  Between not having time to prepare properly and being stressed to the max (at times I thought my head would explode and desperately needed chocolate!), I have fallen off the AIP wagon.  And I can feel it. :(

I have only had one full blown attack, when I went totally crazy for a couple days and ate all things off limits.  It took a week to recover.  UGH!  Most of the time I still eat mostly AIP and FODMAP, with only a few indiscretions, and can keep my symptoms at a tolerable level. 

It is frustrating to think of how I have slid backwards in this, but now I know my limits. And my need for this diet is confirmed.  There is a sense of control over my health, even though so much of it is still a mystery.  No cure in sight, but still hope.

I have also been reminded how hurtful to our physical well being stress is, and why I have ordered my life in such a way, as to avoid as much of it as possible!  Knowing this is all temporary has helped. 

I have to keep refocusing my eyes on eternity and remember what really matters. 

His mercies are new every morning and I will start again.

Hackathon

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

 

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them.  There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.  But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.  If they were all one part, where would the body be?  As it is, there are many parts, but one body. (1 Corinthians 12:4-6, 18-20)

 

^{These scriptures were brought to life for me this weekend.  I spent the weekend at a Code For The Kingdom, Hackathon.  Hacking for Jesus?  Yes!  I was witness to a group of smart, tech savvy, Jesus loving people doing what they do for the glory of God.} 

 

^{My involvement with Wycliffe Associates has shown me that we don't have to be a missionary or linguist to help in Bible translation.  God can use us just the way He has crafted us.  Together we can make God's Word available to everyone!} 

^{My personality, my abilities, my interests, my spiritual gifts and even my disabilities can all be used to accomplish the purposes of God, if I will let the Holy Spirit lead.  What about you?  What do you have to offer?  More than you think, I am sure.  Check out wycliffeassociates.org or talk to a friend.  Sometimes others can recognize gifts in you, that you can't.} 

^{Whatever you do, do it for His glory!  And in so doing, you'll find your sweet spot.}

JTH - Thankful

I have yet to find perfection or complete healing, but I have found thankfulness in the midst of this journey.

I am thankful for the days I awake feeling good! 

I am thankful for the days I get to start over...because yes...I blow it sometimes.

I am thankful I have the option to eat healthy.

I am thankful for a supportive spouse.

I am thankful for a God who works all things for my good.  And yes, I do consider this for my good.

The truths the Holy Spirit is teaching me through this challenge are priceless.  I see this journey as temporary, even if it lasts a hundred years, but the good it is producing in my character is forever.

You see, I read that an autoimmune condition can not really be cured, as a cure means that the desease has been definitely ended.  However, it can be in remission, which is when a disease is temporarily ended or in reversal; a disease remains but shows no symptoms.  With an autoimmiune condition, it is about creating a lifelong condition of health through diet, lifestyle, environmental factors and stress relief.

Wow! That sounds like our spiritual life!  Our flesh can not be cured this side of Heaven, but through the right diet (Bread of Life and Living water), a lifestyle of seeking God, removing temptations, and being thankful, we can begin to reverse our condition!  Our old nature still remains in our body, but the symptoms are removed in proportion to our surrender to this new way of living.

When people hear about how strict my diet is they say things like, "That must be so hard!".  And it is, but only because my old nature is still kicking.  My diet consists of delicious foods, however, I still WANT what everyone else is eating.  My mind and taste buds remember the delicacies of the world and my culture says I can have anything I want.  It is a fight indeed!  But one that can be won with the proper perspective and training, for His grace is sufficient and I can learn to be content in Christ.

So, on  I travel...sometimes running...sometimes walking...and sometimes falling on my face!  But I am learning to do it all in thankfulness, for my God is always there ready to pick me up and help me forward.  He is faithful and His lovingkindness endures forever.

JTH - How Long, O LORD?

Was it foolishness or impatience that had me thinking 20+ years of damage could be undone in a month of good eating?  Probably a little of both.  My old nature is not far from me. Oh, but God is faithful and His mercies are new every morning...weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

And so, with renewed commitment I journey on...and as I was pondering the irreparable damage already done to my colon (for short of a miracle of God the redundancy will not shrink back), I was struck by the fact that we can not do irreparable damage to our relationship with God.  There is only one sin that is unforgivable, blaspheme of the Holy Spirit (Matthew 12:31), which I believe to be unbelief.  But for those who believe, no sin, no amount of time will keep God from redeeming our lives when we turn to Him.  We may have to live with earthly consequences of our past sin, just as I may always have to live with dietary restrictions, but we are not excluded, nor will we bear them forever.  This Sunday we will celebrate the resurrection of Jesus and it is because of His precious blood, that we are made righteous, and one day, even our bodies, will be glorified to perfection! 

Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
¹⁰ your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹ Give us today our daily bread.
¹² And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³ And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from the evil one.

 

Matthew 6:9-13

 

Maranatha Lord, Come Soon!

JTH - Week 3



"I work from the vantage point of helping clients re-frame disease to be an ally, not an enemy. When that happens, we take responsibility for our life and move out of being the victim of our circumstances such as illness.  Here is the bottom, bottom line. Your life is trying to wake you up to something through illness.  It just is. So go there. I promise there is no downside to taking that positioning in life. Only wisdom.  That place of trust that life is waking me up to something. You are doing it though illness. Once you decide this path, things like blaming others, being a victim or arguing against what is present are quickly lost as coping options. Your biggest coping options become love and acceptance. How will I love and accept this event? And this is difficult because denial, victim and blame are socially accepted tools in the healing world, easier to take but ultimately don’t work."  Jessica Flanigan, Clinical Nutritionist

 I found the above quote while researching AIP recipes this week.  It pretty much sums up my next step in this journey.  I initially thought I would go on the diet for a month, get better, and then be on my merry way.  Yeah, right! 

I have been through all the coping options she mentioned.  Denial?  Yep, been there.  Victim?  Woe is me!  Blame?  You betcha.  Even with this diet, I wanted a quick fix, but that doesn't look to be the case.  They say 1 month of healing for every year you have been sick, and I have been sick for over 20 years!  So, I need to move on to viewing my illness as my ally and not my enemy.

My nature leans toward destinations.  Michael often has to slow me down when we are walking.  I go from point A to point B the quickest way possible.  But this...this condition, isn't racing toward a destination and so I need to shift my focus to the journey. 

I don't know exactly how this will play out.  I have no doubt there will be moments of unrest and temptation ahead, but for now I am resting in the joy of obedience. 

I am learning that my life is not my own.  I am not in control.  I need to trust God.  And I must reorder my life.  I can no longer ignore it, forging ahead, hoping it will behave. 

It is giving me a chance to put into practice scriptures, such as Rejoice in the Lord always and Give thanks in all things.

The truth is, I am at a crossroads.  Will I go back to my old path, or will I stop and walk in the good way?  God what are you waking me up to? 

JTH - Week 2

Two weeks in and I am starting to see the benefits.  My husband has noticed it in the silence.  He no longer hears the constant rumble day and night.  It's not over yet, but I just may be onto something.

I have decided to go ahead and take some meds to kick those buggers out quicker and get on with the healing.  Praying that goes well.

My hope is still that after healing, I will be able to get many of the foods back.  However, this past week I have grown more comfortable with life as it is and that if need be, I can live like this.  The desire for these foods is still there, but instead of looking at it as foods that have been taken away, I am looking at it as choosing foods that will bring healing.  I can have what I want and be miserable or have what I need and feel good.  It is a choice and a battle of the mind.

I am such a visual learner that God, in His mercy, gives me these earthly examples to teach me His heavenly principles.  For I am seeing such a connection to my spiritual life in all of this; the battle in my mind over what I want, versus what I need; the daily need to depend on the LORD to overcome my sinful nature and temptation; the realization that my character means more to God than my earthly healing or comfort (Romans 5:1-5); that the fruit I am to bear is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control and these are not dependent on my doing or being physically well. (Galatians 5:22-23)

Might God still give me a miracle healing?  Maybe, but if it comes, it will be because of God's wisdom and not my manipulation.  I have spent years thinking that if I learned enough lessons, God would heal my womb, like He was just waiting for me to "get it" and then would grant my request.  I realize now that God doesn't work that way and am even thankful that I don't always get what I bargain for.  I am learning to be content and trust in His wisdom, with eternity in view; to be clay in the potters hand and accept the vessel he has made me to be.  And if that means I am to be like Paul, with a thorn in my flesh all my days, then I will be in good company and endure by the grace of God and the strength of Christ in me. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Philippians 4:12-13 )

My hope...

⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things...¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me...¹⁸ For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. ¹⁹ Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. ²⁰ But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Philippians 3:7-8,12, 18-21.

The Journey To Healing

One week down...too many to go.

AIP is the latest acronym to go with my IBS and SIBO. 

What is AIP?  It stands for Auto Immune Protocol.  It is an elimination diet to aid in the healing of a leaky gut and various autoimmune diseases.  Oh yeah, and I am leaving out the FODMAP's as well.

For me, this is like Custer's Last Stand.  This is it...it's either me or the gut gremlins. 

Do I sound as crazy as I feel?  It may be the lack of sugar to my brain.

So here I am, one week into a very restricted diet.  I am discovering some new vegetables I didn't know existed.  Some are rather good and some I still don't like.  Yuck!  I am down a pound!  Whoohoo!  I get tons of meat and all the water I can drink, but I am not going to sugar coat it (pun intended)...

I cried today.

The eating part is going better than expected, especially since Michael is participating with me (what a guy!).  I have a few cravings, but over all not bad.  However, I have not showed any miraculous recovery like I had hoped.  I am still the same.  I know, I know...it's only been a week and I didn't get this way overnight, but I was really hoping for a miracle turn around.  I need to know this is going to be worth it!

And so I cried in fear that this too would fail. 

By the grace of God, I undertook this for Lent as well as my health.  Otherwise, I may have quit today.  But, God is giving me the strength I need, because this battle is about more than just flesh and blood and nasty gut microbes. 

^{Ephesians 6:10} Finally, let the mighty strength of the Lord make you strong. ¹¹ Put on all the armor that God gives, so you can defend yourself against the devil’s tricks. ¹² We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world. ¹³ So put on all the armor that God gives. Then when that evil day comes, you will be able to defend yourself. And when the battle is over, you will still be standing firm.

¹⁴ Be ready! Let the truth be like a belt around your waist, and let God’s justice protect you like armor. ¹⁵ Your desire to tell the good news about peace should be like shoes on your feet. ¹⁶ Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Let God’s saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God’s message that comes from the Spirit.

¹⁸ Never stop praying, especially for others. Always pray by the power of the Spirit. Stay alert and keep praying for God’s people. ¹⁹ Pray that I will be given the message to speak and that I may fearlessly explain the mystery about the good news. ²⁰ I was sent to do this work, and that’s the reason I am enduring this trouble. So pray that I will be brave and will speak as I should.
CEV italics are my addition.